I just need a place to drop these off...

These days might not be hard for you, but it's certainly not easy for me.

To make a confession, I really don't feel pity about us. I still remember how you told me I have never done a thing before. You said I wasn't concentrated; not until you reached me though. I was waiting, then you were there walking a big step toward me...I can't deny that we worked things out for changes; we communicated for honesty; we fought for ego; we apologized for correction; we compromised for tolerance...We smiled, we laughed, we silence for no reason but because of each other. I really could feel your respect for my existence, and I really appreciated your efforts. I knew I should not have ask you to change...I mean, even if we could make it through this time, the other day I would just start up another fight for another person that bothers me. If that is what you want, I would just let it be. It's not about swallowing our pride anymore. It's about we had already tried enough. Things happen in its way; once it happened, it doesn't mean it was a mistake. Therefore, I will not regret for any decisions, as they are made for the next opportunity to open freely. You will never know, maybe, one day...

If you only stare at the current situation, you will have nothing more than the same in future. Nonetheless I believe when it comes to an end, somehow it means there's a way to another start. It's just the matter of time; as long as I realized our relationship and dramas are unnecessary facts. Without these will only making life easier at some point. I know what I want, all I need it's just some time...Now the least thing that I can do is, turn around, and don't look back. I'm in my place, and I will do whatever I have to.

p.s. You were once good enough for me. I took every word from you serious. You had tried to make me a better person, and we valued each other. I hope you knew I was really meant to stay around when I promised. Not that forever or life-time, all I was saying, as long as you still want me. Anyway, the last one turned out was the worst, subjective and ugly fight.

Wish you feel better when I'm no longer in your life.

Just for you .

在道德判斷上，「利他主義」(Altruism)本來是我們發自內心的本性，在社會上無私的為別人而奉獻甚至犧牲。如果「利他主義」的出發精神是不會從別人身上預期得到任何回報，以滿足他人為準則，視別人的幸福為自己的快樂...但你能相信每一件事都是自願性單向的嗎? 大概Thomas Hobbes否認這定義的原因是有道理的。「利他主義」背後的動機是相互性的....

當然站在人性道德的立場上，一個社會的文化中是需要培養「利他主義」的。因為美德是人類一種情操跟謙卑的行為，是值得跟有必要遺傳的教育。即使在我的認知下，原來要承認付合文明社會的進化，「利他主義」已逐漸被修飾: 你我他拐個彎也因為第三因素才堅持一種方式的奉獻，滿足別人都是考慮到自己的利益。但我們相信你當哪種人是個人的選擇，只需要誠實的面對心底裡的自己。因為最可怕的往往不是魔鬼，而是偽君子賣弄的心機。

我是相信人的本性都是善良的，不認同基因決定了自私是天性。無可否認的是，「自我中心」(Self-centered)是會不自覺在我們的潛意識(Subconscious)中存在著。總是不自覺的以了「我」為中心點來解釋世界，來表達自己對世界的感知，讓「我」的存在才感到存在，以「我」去延伸各樣的看法...

親愛的，我就承認有時候我會不自主地變得「自我」。這種行為在許可的時候還可以解讀成「真我」的表達自己; 只是在不適合的情況下就會顯得「自我」的過份表達。但希望你明白「自我」跟「自私」不一樣的是，「自私」是凡事利益歸向自己，而「自我」的人不一定有察覺自己的行為，未必是一心以涉及個人利益為前題...因為我們都是有感情的動物，無非都只是想在交際社會上在別人身上得到點憑藉，渴望人與人之間的歸屬感(Need to Belong)。這是一個生命中的定律，相對地也算是一種對你的信任跟信心...只是這世界也許願意聽自己說完整故事的人不多，我會明白每個人到各自在不同層面都有自己的生活跟經歷，才顯得有些「自我」是不必要建築在別人的生活裡。

人很多時候都會把自己的想法加予到別人身上，至少對你的愛戴不包括壓力組成，是我想給你保持最基本讓你感到自在的距離。哪天我急不及待一心飛奔去留意你流浪的心去哪裡，卻沒有多懷疑那背後覺得這世界煩厭的原因; 這疏忽是有點大意，但要相信這個人是真正在乎你那顆心，好比紗眷去保護你的傷口; 由始至終都是同一個出發點。請用心感受我的好與壞，才放心的抱我入懷...

如果我想學會就連我唯一在意的都不再在意，以為回歸「利他主義」的原意; 其實這背後的動機又還不是為了你。